Friday, January 3, 2025

The Old Coot engineers a solution. Published 1/1/25

 The Old Coot engineers a solution.

By Merlin Lessler

I’m not an engineer. At least not with a four year degree. I’m missing some credit hours. But, I am an “engineer,” with a small “e.”  A lot of people are. Engineering is mostly a mindset, the ability to puzzle things out. A technical degree provides a deeper knowledge to work with; you need it to design a bridge or an electronic circuit. But for a lot of other tricky issues in life, you just need the engineering mind-set.

That’s a lot of blah, blah to get me to the point – My greatest engineering accomplishment! It took place four years ago when I had a severe reaction to the cholesterol medicine I’d been on for years. I started to lose strength in my arms and legs, and didn’t really notice until the day I had trouble getting up a single stair. It’s all behind me now, the cause determined and eliminated; my strength is back to normal. (An 82-year old normal)

When I was in that weakened state, I had to use the full spectrum of my engineering ability to deal with it. Especially if I fell or slipped to the ground. I became that “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” person. I slipped down several times, when I was out on my own getting into the car. Once it was the garbage man who picked me up. Another time, it was a nice couple in a grocery store parking lot. The last time, it was a guy in a pick-up truck. I changed my technique; I started backing into the car seat, instead of stepping up and in. Duh! Took me long enough to figure that one out. Some engineer!   

My real concern was getting off the floor at home. Even when my wife was with me we sometimes had to get a friend to help. We went to a physical therapy center to see if there was a technique we could use. We spent an hour going through a laundry list of commonly used techniques. Nothing worked. I was too weak. I was determined to come up with a solution. I spent one whole night in a recliner chair, straining my brain to find a solution. Thinking, dozing, dreaming. That’s when I made my greatest engineering feat. I had a plan.

Now, to try it out. I asked my wife to get a small cooler from the garage. She looked at me like I was nuts. I get that a lot. The cooler was narrow, 6 inches high when it was placed on its side. I got down on the floor; I still had enough arm strength to crawl over to it. I slid it next to a lounge chair in the living room and was strong enough to sit up on the floor and up on it. From there, I pushed up another six inches and sat on the chair. It was too low for me to gain my feet, but the chair next to it, on four inch risers, was not. I slid across the first chair and up onto the second. From there I got to my feet. I was so proud of myself. I’d regained my freedom. No more, “Help, I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” I could be left home alone; my wife got her freedom too. It was my greatest engineering feat ever!