The Old Coot says it never ends.
By Merlin Lessler
Once a bureaucracy enacts a rule or regulation, it’s set in
stone. We all run into stupid rules that no longer make any sense. Take the FAA
for example. They force the airlines to demonstrate how to fasten a seat belt
before a plane can take off. Other stuff too, but the seatbelt demonstration is
the worst. If anyone on a plane can’t handle a seatbelt they need to take a
bus. Besides, the guy next to you can do a better job, the first step is to
stop sitting on it.
The seat belt alarm in cars has outlived its usefulness. Most
of us have adopted a “buckle-up practice,” even those of us who fought it when
it was first mandated. It’s now second nature and it feels uncomfortable not to
have that belt snugging us in. But I ignore the alarm when I pull up to a
drive-in window. The first thing I do is unfasten my seatbelt to squirm around to
get my wallet out of my pocket, and to reach out the window to get my order and
avoid spilling the drink, because they don’t always put the top on right. At an
ATM I do it, to get a good grip on the cash and not have to chase it down the
driveway. The other times I get caught by the seatbelt nag, is when I put a
heavy item on the passenger seat that awakens it from slumber.
How about the TSA, treating us like the Soup Nazi treated
his customers on the Seinfeld TV show. They are bureaucratic bullies extraordinaire,
ordering passengers to remove belts, shoes, sweaters and coats before passing through
an X-ray shower stall. Us old guys are exempt, one of the few perks of turning 75.
But really? After 25 years of shoe removal, because a shoe
bomber tried to pull a fast one and failed. But he didn’t fail; millions of
people have to hop around in their socks every year before passing muster. Getting
through the TSA gauntlet is more stressful than flying 5 miles above the earth,
at hundreds of miles per hour in a seat designed for a child. Especially if your
face is red because your beltless pants fell down when you stepped into the
metal detector.
But it will never stop! A rule is a rule! Forever.
Comments? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com
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