The Old Coot skips the socks.
By Merlin Lessler
I'm in the YMCA in Florida, sitting on a bench in the locker
room, getting dressed after swimming laps in a 24- lane, outdoor pool. Why am I
in Florida? In August? I had to do some mid-summer yard work, to keep bushes
from overtaking the house so I came down for a couple of weeks. It’s exciting to sit and watch the
thermometer move toward 100, and then keep going. At least for a guy from the
north country. While I was in the YMCA locker room, a guy on the other side of
the room was groaning and grunting as he struggled to put on his socks. An old
guy, like me. He finally got them on and then swore, “Darn it! I put on my dirty
socks, not the clean ones I brought with me,” and started the whole process
over again. I hadn't gotten to my socks yet; it can be quite a challenge for an
old guy to get a sock started over his toes. But I did just fine; I skipped the
socks and put on my sneakers. Socks are overrated.
Then, a younger guy came in; he got dressed standing up,
socks, shoes, pants and shirt. I looked over to him, and like the guy in the
Progressive Insurance TV commercial who is told to stop talking to strangers
and acting like his parents.” I said, “I'm so jealous. I haven't been able to
do that for 20 years.” He laughed and said he was 52, and already could tell
that his time of getting dressed while standing up was coming to an end.
He’s smarter than I was at that age. I remember getting
dressed like that at the Binghamton YMCA when I was in my 50’s. Three old guys
sat on a bench nearby working hard to get dressed. One of them broke the ice.
“Sonny, enjoy it while you can. Your time to sit on a bench to get dressed is
coming.” I never forgot that encounter. Even now, I can clearly picture the
three of them sitting on that bench, but the image in my mind, now has me
sitting alongside them.
The dressing problems I had back then were to avoid mixing
plaids with stripes, not getting into my clothes. Now, beside the sock issue,
it’s avoiding going around with a T-shirt, or pants with an elastic waistband
on backwards.
Comments? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com
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