The Old Coot should shut his mouth?
By Merlin Lessler
There is a side benefit to the cameras on everyone’s phones;
we get to see candid photos of ourselves every once in a while. We are often surprised
at what we see. In my case, an old guy with his mouth half open. Apparently I
have a case of “Old-Man-Jaw-Drop Syndrome.” I walk around without knowing that
my mouth is open. That’s OK when I’m asleep on a bench in the mall or in a seat
on an airplane. People expect you to have an open mouth. Everybody does it, but
not when they’re walking around or peddling along on a bicycle. It makes you look
stupid; it’s another of those old age things. Things drop. I have foot drop in
my left foot. It drops when I lift my leg. It would trip me if it weren’t for a
little device I wear on my ankle with a strap tied to the lace near my toe; it holds
my foot up and keeps me from tripping. A life saver for twenty-five bucks.
But, I don’t want to be fitted with a similar device to
keep my jaw from dropping. I’ve devised my own physical therapy; I constantly
repeat to myself, “Keep your lips together! Shut your mouth!” The latter being
something I’ve never learned to do. Yet, it’s important that I do; I have an
image to sustain and not make my fellow octogenarians look bad.
I practice keeping my pie hole shut when I’m taking a walk,
riding a bike or anything else in public view. Unfortunately, when I’m doing those
things I go off into a trance and quietly whistle a tune. It’s a weak, almost silent
sound. I think I lost my ability to whistle, but that’s a story for another
time. I can’t use that trance state I go into as an excuse; I’ve got to stay in
the moment and keep my mouth shut.
I need to remind my fellow old men to do the same. If I see
a young guy with his mouth open, I’m going to keep mine shut. I don’t want a
punch in the jaw and end up with my mouth wired shut while it heals. Although,
that is another way to deal with the jaw drop syndrome.
No comments:
Post a Comment