March 16. 2016 Article

The Old Coot cares. More than CBS.

By Merlin Lessler

CBS Cares! - Subaru is love! Nike says, Just do it! – GE used to say, We bring good things to life, but have since launched, Imagination at work, spending $100 million in promotion. Most companies use a slogan to present a positive public image. And, without giving it a lot of thought, we buy it. Especially if we hear it a lot. It seeps into our brain and finds a home. That’s where old coots like me earn our keep. We’re skeptics. We say, “Bull,” to manufactured corporate images.

Oh sure, CBS does care; they care about their ratings; they care about their ad revenue and most of all, they care about their bottom line. This doesn’t come through to us when we see them send an image across our TV screens of a lost puppy running to the open arms of a six year old girl with tears streaming down her rosy cheeks as the announcer says, CBS Cares. It didn’t work for Circuit City with their slogan, Just what you needed! Apparently we didn’t, and they went bankrupt. So did Lehman Brothers, who bragged they were, Where vision gets built! The vision turned into an illusion and investor’s money disappeared. 

I’ll confess; I’m overly sensitive to manufactured corporate images. I participated in creating a few over the years. I understand the process. It starts with the CEO.  It’s a money thing: ad revenues are off, viewership is down, ratings are slipping. The PR and Marketing VP’s are called on the carpet and the CEO says, “We need a better image! One that appeals to the “common man” and the hardships of this economy. Make it so!” Out in the hall the PR guy says to the marketing VP, “Oh sure. The cheapskate won’t pay for better programming, so it’s our job to save his career with a new slogan that improves our image.”

They get to work. A year of consultants, ad executives, psychologists, brain storming sessions, focus groups, viewer surveys, grilling by executive management and finally, CBS Cares is born. But, it was a long hard route to get there. The first draft was, CBS is interested and concerned with people and animals that are undergoing difficulties (can’t leave animals out, not today, not with PETA pushing for equality).

That one got laughed out of the room, and then came, CBS is focused on people and animals having a bad day. More chuckles in the board room, and then came version #3 – CBS supports and feels for people and animals in distress. And, then version #4 – CBS cares about people and animals.

“Better,” says the CEO. “Now get it finished.” More consultants are hired; focus group meetings and surveys are conducted once again. It gets no place. Finally, a group of old coots are brought in. “If an old coot gets it, we’re golden,” the PR guy whispers to the Marketing VP. The old coots tell them it’s too complicated, to make it simple. They do; the slogan is boiled down to a single thought, CBS Cares. Puppies and little girls are hired; the new slogan is launched; the public starts to believe that CBS really does care. But, not the old coots; we sit back and snicker. We know the con game never ends!