The Old Coot is change challenged. (Published 7/31/2024)

 The old coot can’t adapt to change.

By Merlin Lessler

 I’ve been testing my ability to adapt to change. I rate it on a scale of one to ten. When I was young, change couldn’t happen fast enough. I was a solid ten. Over time, my test score declined. This summer it hit a new low. It was automatic doors that did me in. I’d been going in and out of medical facilities to visit people and to undergo some routine old coot tests. As I walked to the first doorway, it opened automatically, throwing me off balance and making me stumble a bit. I got used to it (I gave myself 7 on the 1 to 10 scale). But then, when I walked up to a regular door, I expected it to open; it didn’t, and I nearly planted my face. I’m back and forth; some doors open on their own, some don’t. I’m forced to adapt all the time, and not doing so well. My adaptability skill is low. It’s a crap shoot out there. Will the door open on its own or not?

It's not just automatic doors that challenge my ability to adapt. Automobiles do it too. They’ve taken over, they scold you if you don’t fasten your seat belt, tell you that a door is unlatched, make you step on the brake to start the engine, won’t let you leave the lights on. They lock the doors when you put it in drive. Not a good thing when you get into an accident and a good Samaritan can’t pull you out before it catches on fire or rolls into the river. Some cars keep you in your lane and stop you from crashing into cars in your blind spot when you change lanes. They even prevent you from coming too close to the car in front of you when using cruise control. Little by little they dumb you down. s.

Then, when you get into a car without all that stuff, you could be in trouble with driving skills that have been lost. My adaptation skill level gets overheated. If I rent or borrow a car, I have trouble driving it: to start it, turn on the wipers, adjust the temperature or find a radio station. No two cars are alike. Gear shift lever? No! Just a round knob. - Ignition key? No! Push a button on the dash (if you can find it). I need a lesson and some practice whenever I hop into a strange vehicle. Eventually, I won’t be able to drive or get into a building. A homeless old coot, on foot, who didn’t adapt to change.