The Old Coot is corporate
survey challenged.
By Merlin Lessler
Most of today’s corporations
are needy. Maybe it’s because they take the legal definition of a corporation
(artificial person) too literally. Every purchase you make of their products or
services, there they are, begging to know, “How did we do? How many stars do
you give us? Take a short survey!” It’s like dealing with eight-year-olds, who
constantly yell, “Mom, watch this!” as they do a cartwheel, a belly-flop into a
pool or run across the yard.
For a kid, I get it, sort
of. I don’t like it. It’s annoying after the first few “Moms watch this!” When
I’m the “Mom” I try to limit the begs to three. Even then, I succumb to “Just
one more” and then stop watching. Some parents and grandparents don’t bring it
to an end. “We don’t want to hurt the child’s self-esteem.” Bull! At that point,
all the kid should get credit for, is being annoying.
The same is true with
needy corporations, attacking us with a barrage of survey requests. The CEO’s
running these companies read the results and use them to hammer their front
line employees, employees they hamstring with policies that can’t be broken, no
matter how logical the customer’s request for a variance. If they asked
customers how they like being constantly asked to “watch me,” they might stop
the intrusion. They would do more for the sacred “bottom line” if they worked a
shift in the call center or behind a check-out counter every once in a while.
If they did, maybe we
wouldn’t have to weave our way through a phone queue to talk to a person and
wait endlessly, listening to dreadful music designed to make us want to hang up.
And, we wouldn’t have to stand in long lines to check out. That’s why it is so
great to deal with small businesses; they know where their bread is buttered
and make a point to be at or near the front line, making sure customers are
well served. Now that you’ve read this; how did I do? Would you take a few
minutes to rate me? Did I earn 1 star, 2 stars, 3 stars, 4 stars or five?
Comments, complaints? Send
to – mlessler7@gmail.com
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