July 13, 2016 Article

Even an old coot can be a love child.

By Merlin Lessler

It starts at home, with family members. A kid heads out the door, looks back and says, “See ya later mom.” She replies, “Love ya.” He then says, “Ditto or love you too.” Not in my day of course. People didn’t say, “Love you,” very often. Not the words. We got the message in a different way, “Put on your coat; it’s chilly. And, be careful.” The equivalent of “Love you.”

It’s become pretty common. A nice thing, though it has its awkward moments now that the custom has spread beyond immediate families. It took a little getting used to for us old coots. A little startling the first time a friend turned to leave, gave us a hug and said, “Love ya.” Most of us old guys stiffened up. But, we eventually learned to handle it, to feel comfortable with the hug. The, “Love ya,” took a little longer. We started using it, but somewhat sparingly and definitely not old coot to old coot. We stuck to the approved expression of feelings for each other as proscribed in the old coot manual. With an insult. “Don’t get in the back seat and try to drive home like you did last week. Ha! Ha!” – Or – “Next time you come over make sure your pants aren’t on backwards. Ha! Ha!” That sort of thing. It expresses our fondness for each other. 

“Love-ya” has become so common these days that its impact is somewhat blunted. It’s even used among strangers. “Thanks for telling me how to get to the court house,” a stranger will say to a “local.” Followed with, “Love ya.” A cop gives you a ticket for speeding – you glower to yourself, but reflexidly say, “Love ya,” before pulling back onto the highway.

OK. Maybe that’s a bit of a stretch. But, things are headed that way, and though it’s a little uncomfortable for some of us old guys, I can’t help but think it’s a positive change in the evolution of Homo sapiens. It’s a lot harder to dislike someone who just said, “Love ya.” It might be the ideal mechanism to brunt the hate that abounds around the world. I hope so; the politicians’ solution hasn’t worked.    

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