June 10, 2015 Article

The Old Coot gives a warning.

By Merlin Lessler

Summer is just around the corner. Some of you may be planning a vacation with another couple. Be careful! A couple's vacation can prove troublesome. Both couples say, “We’re great friends! We get along so well. It would be so nice to go on vacation together.” That’s the premise, so off you go.

Day one is a travel day. Oh sure, there’s a little tension on the trip, causing a spat or two, but those are between partners. Her saying, “Come on honey; we need to get through security before it backs up.” Him saying, “There’s plenty of time.” Her replying, “Do me one favor; let’s just get through security; then you can do whatever you want.” The other couple is watching the exchange, so he backs down. In they go. Just a little spat. No big deal. Not yet!

You make it to your destination, go to dinner; no problems so far; everyone is too tired to disagree. But, a glimmer of what’s to come, surfaces. “What do you want to do for breakfast?” Such an innocent question. Except, couple # 1 wants to grab a cup of coffee and a muffin and get to the beach early to get a good spot. Couple #2 wants to sleep in and have a lavish breakfast in the dinning room and mosey out to the beach in time for lunch. The “I’m on vacation” attitude starts to surface. Some minor grumbling off to the side, between partners, not between couples. “I didn’t spend all this money to do stuff I don’t want to do.” (Often accompanied with childlike pouting and foot stomping.)

The whole thing could be resolved right then, before the real disaster of a couple’s vacation unfolds. All it would take is for one of the wives to say, “Lets do this - you do what you want to do during the day, we’ll do what we want and then we’ll meet up for dinner.” That way they would have had the best of all worlds; the comfort of traveling with friends and the ability to enjoy time in their own way. But, this never happens. Everything has to be done as a foursome. An endless series of spats behind closed doors, arguing about how best to deal with the other couple’s shortcomings. “She’s so bossy!” -  “He’s so stubborn and selfish.” -  “Who does he think he is?” – “Did you catch how rude she was to the server? I bet the staff got even when her entrée went back to the kitchen.”

Finally, the last day on the beach. Four people, all mad. The only thing holding the marriages together is a mutual distaste for the other couple. They lounge in beach chairs, each angled in a different direction; no one would know they were together. It’s a symbolic temper tantrum that silently says, “I’ll face whatever way I want. ” A single thought floods everyone’s head, “NEVER AGAIN!”

One of the wives looks up from her travel magazine and says, “There’s a great cruise to Alaska in May, half price! What do you think?” Stony silence is the response. I know; I’ve been next to these couples, eavesdropping, on the beach, on cruise ships, in campgrounds. Even hiking up the trails in the White Mountains. If you go this couple’s route, be careful, you may destroy a great friendship.