July 8, 2015 Artcle

The Old Coot hogs both lanes turning a corner.

By Merlin lessler

Old Coots swing wide! I didn’t notice it until Lois Bingley pointed it out. She’s a skilled bird watcher and applied her observation skills to watching old birds, which is the polite term for old coots. She said, “Just watch one of your crowd take a corner in their car. They swing way into the other lane to maneuver through it. They swing so wide they must think they’re driving an eighteen-wheeler or something. 

It’s true, but it’s not our fault. We’re partial to big boats, cars like the ones we grew up with. Big enough to seat three people in the front, a back seat that looks like a living room couch and a hood so long it requires an ornament or a crimped line at the front to help you steer. You line up the ornament with the edge of the road and it places you in the center of your lane. It worked great when we were in our youth, before we shrunk to our present height and we could sit up straight and erect behind the wheel.

But now, we’re shorter and slink down in the seat. You can barely see our heads when you follow from behind. This change in our physical structure is why we swing wide. We can hardly make out the hood ornament, all those yards in front of us. It’s like we’re driving from the recliner we watch TV (and nap) in at home. We lean way back and have a distorted view of the scene coming at us through the windshield. We glide into a right turn by going left. It kind of clears a path as the people coming toward us in the other lane jerk their cars out of the way. Then, we finish our wide turn and go down the road oblivious to the chaos we’ve created back at the intersection. Except now, thanks to Lois Bingley, I am aware of my swing wide technique. All I can say, is, “Thank you,” to all the drivers out there who pull out of my way, letting me get to the early bird special on time.