The Old Coot can’t spell. By Merlin Lessler
I recently finished reading “History Matters,” a collection
of historian David McCullough’s essays and speeches. Not only is it a pleasant
read, but highly educational too. So much so, that it should be included in the
curriculum of every high school in America. I pulled out a couple of historical
quotes that made me feel better about myself. Both have to do with the spelling
of English Language words. It’s something I struggle with to this day. It
started when I skipped ahead from second grade to third grade in the middle of
the school year. On the first day in third grade, I faced a ten-word spelling
test that I hadn’t had a chance to study for. I misspelled several words, but
one has stayed with me all these years – CITY. I spelled it c-i-t-i, the
way it sounded to me. I got a big fat “F.”
McCullough included two spelling-related quotes in his
essays. The first was from Andrew Jackson – “I never had much respect for
anyone with so little imagination as to be able to only spell a word one way.”
The second, from an anonymous source remarking about Thomas Jefferson –
“Jefferson can spell the same word two or three different ways in the same
letter.”
I somehow feel vindicated, knowing I have famous company in
my inability to spell. I’m constantly asking my wife Marcia, “How do you spell
…..”. The spelling of two words in particular constantly baffle me – Bureaucracy
and Octogenarian. (Even auto correct couldn’t spell that last one; I had to
look it up in the dictionary.)
I have a dislike for bureaucracies. Thus, I frequently need
to use the word since I often write about my latest confrontation with one. It’s
the front-line employees who take the brunt of it from the incensed
customers/citizens that can’t see why their organization can’t bend a rule when
it makes so much sense. The rule makers, far up the ladder in corporations and
government, are the real culprits. They don’t trust their employees to make
exceptions and be guided by the Golden Rule – “Treat others the way you want to
be treated.” It’s just that simple. Break a rule every once in a while.
Octogenarian is a term I like to use, to classy up how I
refer myself. I throw it out there all the time. “I’m an octogenarian.” It
helps when I want to go to the head of a line. It gets me through TSA in the
airport and on to the plane in rapid fashion. Enough said. My misspelling of Boughacracy
and Ogentenarian will haunt me forever.
Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com
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