The Old Coot loves the Cruise Polka.
By Merlin Lessler
I was on a cruise ship the other day in a food court called
“The Marketplace.” I call it the “Feeding Trough.” I was at a six-top table
with a husband and wife at one end and me at the other, minding my own business.
Hah! That’s a lie: I was people watching and eavesdropping like crazy. The wife
was alone for a few minutes while her hubby ran off to get another load of
pastries. He left his phone on the table. It suddenly emitted a loud rattling noise
that sounded like a bottle of pills being shaken. I looked over to his spouse
and asked, “Is it time for your husband to take his medicine?” She replied in
the affirmative, “Yes, but as usual, he’s not here to take them.”
It was
early, many of the tables were empty. The rush-hour was just beginning; it’s what
I’d been waiting for, the mad scramble for an open seat at a table or a turn at
one of the numerous food stations scattered throughout the large eating area. I
was well situated to watch the mad scramble. It’s kind of like the scrub in a rugby
match. Elbows were flailing; people rushed from one food stand to another. Food
was spilled; angry looks were exchanged.
It
seemed as though these people hadn’t eaten in weeks. Their plates were piled high
with scrambled eggs, bacon toast, pastries, cut up fruit, pancakes, waffles and
a myriad of other items. The wait staff wandered through the sea of tables with
pots of coffee and glasses of juice. It helped to energize the troops; they repeatedly
returned to battle and make queries such as, “Where did you get that giant
sweet roll? I must have one!”
It’s most
entertaining when the sea is rough and the ship is rocking. That adds spilled
plates and sloshed beverages to the mix, I wasn’t disappointed. The imaginary maestro
tapped his wand; the plate clatter orchestra fired up and the cruise ship “feeding
polka” began. I sat tight. I didn’t want to join in on the performance, not
with my balance issues that are magnified on a swaying ship. I stayed put with
my meager plate of food and watched the show. I got my money’s worth. How could
I not? I was in Old Coot Heaven.
Comments?
Send to mlessler7@gmail.com
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