Old Coot can’t handle it!
By Merlin Lessler
I first aired this complaint in 2011. I’m still struggling
with the issue - the shower and sink, water control joystick. A single handle controls
temperature and flow rate and I can never get it to do what I want.
I don’t know how long these things have been around.
Probably decades. I avoided them like the plague, but they’re all over the
place now. I wonder why. What was so bad about a separate cold and hot water
knob? A set up where you had perfect temperature control. If the flow was a
little on the hot side, you made a minor adjustment to either knob, that was
it. You could even do it with your toe when the bath water started to cool
down. When I try this with a joystick, the temperature shoots all over the place.
When I want the water to be a tiny bit hotter, I overshoot and threaten to
scald myself. When I go the other way, I get a blast from the Artic that sends
my heart into atrial fibrillation. I’m capable of getting all hot or all cold,
but the delicate balance of lukewarm or semi-hot eludes me. I know I just need
to push it a slight bit, a right-ish or left-ish maneuver, but the “ish” part
gets me every time.
It reminds me of when I was 14 and driving my father’s car
back and forth in the driveway, never sure what gear I would get when I moved
the shift lever. Every once in a while, I ran it around the block, because I
couldn’t find reverse. At least that’s what I told my dad when he caught me out
in the street without a driver’s license. It’s the same with joysticks. I end
up “going around the block.” I’m starting to get really concerned. These
controls are all over the place, not just in sinks and showers.
The kids that grew up playing video games are now old enough
to be making design decisions for many products. They have put joysticks on
tractors, riding lawn mowers and a whole slew of devices. The steering wheel is
going the way of the dinosaur, being phased out, just like the hot and cold water
knobs in sinks and showers. I’ll really be sunk if I don’t get the “ish” part
down pat before they put them in cars! I’ll end up like the Chevrolet Corvair,
that Ralph Nader claimed was unsafe at any speed. That’s what I’ll be!”
Comments? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com
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