The Old Coot leans to the
left
By Merlin Lessler
I found myself listing to the
left the other day. It’s not the first
time I reported this issue, but it’s been a while. I noticed it as I walked across the street
(jaywalking, of course) and saw my reflection in a store window. I was on a
tilt, like a ship in high seas, about to capsize. This was yet another old coot
affliction that came my way.
It all started with a sore
knee. Like all old knees, abused by running and weekend warrior sporting
activities at a time in life when old age seems a far off rumor, they flare up
every once in a while. No big deal. Treat it kindly for a few days and the
irritation goes away. (A few weeks if you don’t behave.) So, the tender knee
started me on a list to the left. Then I slept wrong on my shoulder. It joined
my knee in protest. My framework adjusted and increased the list.
My back didn’t like being
pulled out of kilter, so it joined the chorus, increasing the angle of my lean
to 15 degrees. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. “Ok, I’m a little crooked.
So what?” Like that old poem about meeting a crooked man, who walked a crooked
mile that we recited back when memorizing poems was still a part of the
curriculum in public schools. But there is a “So what,” when you’re an old coot.
Listing to the left can set you up for a fall. If you step off a curb with your
left foot your weight shifts in that direction and you aren’t ready for it,
down you go. An old coot lying in the gutter.
One fall should be enough to
get you used to your left leaning tendency, but us old coots reside in a state
of denial and usually forget the affliction that affects us at the moment. It
takes several close calls before we adjust. Eventually, the knee gets better,
the shoulder returns too normal and the sore back reluctantly goes along.
Presto! We’re standing straight again. As straight as an old coot can anyhow.
We gloat a little, and brag to our self, “I won another one!” We know something
new will come our way; it’s just a matter of time. But that’s part of the fun,
the adventure of living in an old coot body. Might as well enjoy it.
Comments, complaints can be left at
mlessler7@gmail.com.
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