The Old Coot took the Camel
Cigarette, 30 day test.
By Merlin Lessler
Take this pill! Sue the dirty
bums! This is what our society has come down to. If you judge it by the ads on
TV. No matter what’s wrong with you, there is a pill to fix it. No matter what
happens to you, there is someone to blame, and someone to sue. This is a gripe
I’m compelled to air every few years (11 in this case).
Let’s start with the pills.
“Don’t pay any attention to this list of side effects; the FDA made us reveal
them.” That’s what the pharmaceutical companies would say at the beginning of
their spiel if they were truly honest and forthright. Instead, they create an
image so appealing as to obscure any negative input. One “pill” ad shows an
attractive, middle-aged woman, now freed of her arthritic pain, leisurely
swimming in warm tropical waters. She’s accompanied by a collection of happy
friends and beautiful golden retriever that gently paddles in and out of the
group. The waves gently lap the shore while the announcer’s melodious voice,
quietly suggests that taking the medicine may increase your chances of a heart
attack or a stroke and lead to death, or stomach and other intestinal problems,
such as bleeding ulcers, which may appear without warning and also lead to
death.”
What the FDA should do, is make them show
images of people experiencing the side effects instead of swimming around in
paradise. Maybe then, we’d pay attention to just how risky these miracle cures
are. But we don’t pay attention to the side effects. They hardly register. And,
that’s OK, because the law firms that feed on our missteps, the ones who
dominate our TV screens, are there to make sure we get retribution. They’re on
our side!
And to think I thought the
Camel Cigarette ads I grew up with in the 1950’s were unscrupulous, the ones in
which they invited smokers to take a “30 day Camel” test. “Smoke camels for 30
days and discover for yourself what throat specialists discovered; not one
single case of throat irritation in a coast-to-coast test of hundreds of
people.” I accepted their invitation; I bought a pack of Camels. And, even
though I was only ten years old, I was smart enough to quit after one day.
Besides, if I got caught my mother would have killed me. There’s no pill for
that!
Complaints? Comments?
Leave at mlessler7@gmail.com
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