The Old Coot is a cave
man.
By Merlin Lessler
Neanderthals - a branch of
the human family tree that was thought to have died out over 35,000 years ago. A
dead end on the evolutionary ladder. We were told they were no match for us
humans, a smarter and more civilized branch of the evolutionary tree. But Not True!
Scientists experienced a shock wave, forcing them to reprogram their gray
matter and recalibrate their text books.
The shock was generated
when anthropologists examined human DNA and found our genome contains Neanderthal
DNA. Anywhere from two to twenty percent. And, then they were hit by another
shock wave. A discovery that proved cave men weren’t as stupid and oafish as previously
thought. It was a piece of string that did it. Archeologists unearthed a
remnant of string in a 35,000 year old Neanderthal tomb, uncovered in 2022, in
southeastern France. The string was made from short strips of hide, sinew and hair,
woven into a pattern that transformed the short fibers into a long and useful cord.
String is an important tool of early man, something we take for granted today.
I always suspected that there
were Neanderthals among us. Not necessarily sporting a receding forehead and
protruding brows, but exhibiting oafish behavior. Like bullies and other
thoughtless, selfish people. Perhaps those people’s genomes contain large amounts
of Neanderthal DNA.
Unfortunately, I think I’m
joining that group. I thought the transformation I’ve been going through these
past twenty years, was just the normal aging process. I now think I was wrong.
Maybe, the Neanderthal genes are taking over, causing my cranky, old coot
attitude. I’m becoming a caveman (in addition to being a dinosaur). I just hope
I can keep it under control and limit the focus of my yelling, to yelling at
the TV, and not friends, neighbors and the general public.
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