The Old Coot is a lefty. An Old Coot article published on May24, 2023

 The Old Coot is now a lefty.

By Merlin Lessler

 What arm do you start with, when putting on your shirt? I bet you don’t know, not for sure. It’s one of those things you do without thinking; your subconscious takes charge. Even if you try to figure it out the next time you get dressed, you still won’t know, because you’ll be thinking about it.  It’s hard to find out what your body does on its own.

 How about socks; which sock do you put on first? The right or the left?  For me, it’s left. That’s the leg I can cross over my knee with the least amount of strain. I do it sitting down, but only since I became an old coot. I used to put on my right sock first. I’d hop on my left foot and pull it on. I couldn’t do that with my left sock. When I tried, I’d lose my balance and start to topple over. Now, I sit on a chair. Eventually, I won’t even be able to do that. I’ll get down on the floor and get dressed like a toddler and then say,” Somebody want to help me get up.?

 Some people don’t put on both socks at the same time. They put on a sock and then a shoe, and then the other sock and a shoe. Archie Bunker and his son in law Michael had a big fight about this on an “All in the Family” episode. Archie insisted the right way was to put on a sock and a sock, then a shoe and a shoe. Michael was of the sock and a shoe, sock and a shoe persuasion. So, Archie called him a Meathead!

 This sock business is important, at least to us old coots. It’s a critical part of our day. It’s not as easy as it once was, back when we didn’t give it a thought. Especially, on a day when our back is acting up. If we drop a sock on the floor, we’re in big trouble. We can’t bend over and pick it up or slip it on like regular people. We have to get a coat hanger and either pick it up, or try to nudge it on to our foot. That’s why you see us going around wearing a single sock every once in a while. It means we gave up trying to get it off the floor or got distracted and forgot to put it on. Sometimes, I don’t wear any socks, on purpose. Too much trouble to put them on. It’s what the hip, younger crowd does. It makes me sort of hip too?

 But, back to the “which arm do you put in your shirt first” question. If you don’t know the answer, consider yourself lucky. If you do know the answer, well, you’re an old coot like me who has no choice!