The
Old Coot wants to know.
By
Merlin Lessler
I
always thought my life would be less frustrating if everyone wore a nametag.
Then, I wouldn’t have to fake it, pretend I knew who a person was. Like a lot
of old coots, I call people by fake monikers like: Governor, Missy, Buddy, while
scrambling through my rusty memory files in a desperate attempt to dig their
name out of the cobwebs. It never comes to me until five minutes after they
leave. Sometimes, not for a day or more. People won’t wear name tags, except at
a business conference or similar event where attendees don’t know each other. The
only name tags they will wear, are those of clothing designers, corporate logos
or sports teams: Ralph Lauren, Chaps, Tom Brady, Nike, Buffalo Bills and the
like. Sport their own name. No way!
That
“No way” attitude is even more in play with my second ID suggestion, an Age
Tag. Either with a person’s age or with the year they were born, making us to
do the math if we want to know how old they are bad enough. Most of us are
curious about other people’s age. I’m constantly going on line to look up someone
famous enough to be listed on Google or Wikipedia. It’s so much easier than in
the old days, digging into World Almanacs, encyclopedias or calling the
library.
All
the people I’m around have the same age curiosity that I do. And, many of them
are not old coots; they’re people of all ages. Someone will walk into wherever
we are “hanging out” and invariably, one of us will ask, “How old do you think
that guy is?” We try to figure it out. “I think he’s in his fifties. He looks
younger, but I guess he’s made it out of his forties. I’ll ask my sister; she knows
him.” That sort of conversation. And, it might stop some embarrassing Old Coot
utterances – “Is that your daughter or your wife?” – Are you sisters or mother
and daughter?”
We’re
a curious species. We want to know things. Especially everyone’s age. We’d also
like to know how much they earn, or what they’re worth. I guess that’s too much
to ask for. I’ll settle for an age tag. It would be a boon to society. Don’t
you agree?
Comments? Mlessler7@gmail.com
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