The Old Coot was caught in
a loop.
By Merlin Lessler
I experienced “Infinity”
the other day! In the doorway to a Dunkin Donuts – a double door set-up – an
outer door separated from an inner door by a four-feet vestibule. I was coming in; another old guy was coming
out. We both opened our doors at the same time. He stepped back, holding his
door open and waved me in. I did the same.
“You go!” I said, since he was an old guy. Then he said, “No, you go!”
Thinking I was an old guy. We both held our doors open, amid a flurry of - You
go – No, you go.
Our egos were fully
engaged at that point. I wasn’t about to let some old guy hold the door for me.
Neither was he! It was a clash of old man egos – old coot macho. You go, no you
go, an unending, unwillingness to yield.
A traffic jam built up
behind us. People anxious to get in and out. Yet, this OLD JERK and I were in a
battle of politeness. That’s when it hit me; I was trapped in a loop, a real
world example of infinity, inching closer and closer to my goal, but never
getting there. Finally, I gave up and let go of the outer door and walked in,
while that STUPID STUBBORN, OLD FOOL escorted me through his door. No small
matter that I was pushed forward by an angry mob, led by an irked woman armed
with a twenty pound purse, cocked, loaded and aimed at my head.
On the way out, after
buying my senior coffee, I held the door open for her. She bustled past me like
an angry grizzly bear. She failed to say, “Thank you.” So, I raised my voice
and sent a “You’re welcome,” in her direction. She turned back and glared at me
with a look that said, “You old goat; why don’t you get back to the nursing
home where you belong.” It just goes to show; it doesn’t pay to be nice.
Comments, complaints? Send
to mlessler7@gmail.com
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