The
Old Coot takes a survey.
By
Merlin Lessler
You
go to the doctor – you get a survey in the mail asking, “How did we do?” You
buy something online – before you get what you ordered – you find a survey in
your in-box. Survey! Survey! Survey!
Corporate America is obsessed with surveys. If you give a bad review and take
the time to describe the problem you encountered, you think you will get a call
in an attempt to make things right. But, you don’t! The survey data, including
the detailed feedback you provided just goes into a data base that the CEO uses
to crow to the board of directors about the wonderful job he or she is doing to
run a customer friendly company.
Eventually,
we’ll get a survey asking how we liked the survey. It’s so overdone, and just a
PR move to make us think they care. Just like the recording you get when
calling ANY corporation today and get shoved to the back of a long line that
says, “All our representatives are busy at the
moment; we’ll be with you shortly;
your call is important to us.” Followed, with, “This call may be
monitored.” I guess that is supposed to stop us from swearing at the clerk when
we finally get connected.
When
I’m in a queue waiting to talk to a human, I picture a large group of
call-takers siting around in a break room, listening to me over a loud speaker,
as I wait, cracking up when I get frustrated and start yelling, “Answer the darn
phone,” along with other, (unprintable) rants, interspaced with, “Please,
please get some music that isn’t so annoying that it makes me want to hang up.”
(That probably is their intent. And, it works).
This
survey mania is out of control; it’s so bad that eventually muggers will hand
you a survey as they run away with your wallet. The ATM machine will force you
to tell it how it did, before it will return your card. It’s high time we
stopped replying to corporate surveys. It’s the only way to stop the madness.
If you agree, please let me know how well I did in convincing you too join, the
“no survey” movement. Rate me on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being very well, and
1 being not at all.
Send
survey responses to mlessler7@gmail.com
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