The
old coot failed the test! Got an “F.”
By
Merlin Lessler
I
got my report card this morning. I walked out to retrieve the recycle bin and
saw that it wasn’t empty. It had a small plastic bag in the bottom, signaling
that I got an ‘F”! I failed. I was doing so well; I had all A’s the past
several weeks, but this morning I didn’t pass the weekly quiz. That plastic bag
was REJECTED! NOT ACCEPTABLE! It proved I hadn’t done my homework or I couldn’t
follow instructions or I was just being an uncooperative old coot.
But
it was a mistake, not an intentional act that caused my failure. I know that
plastic bags are no longer recyclable; they mess up the separation machinery at
the sorting plant. It doesn’t matter if it was intentional or not. I still got
an F!
I’m
not as concerned about failing out of recycling school as I am about the
inconvenience I put the recycle crew through. These guys are among the hardest
working people I’ve ever seen. They hustle more than middies on a college
lacrosse team. Virtually in a dead run, back and forth to the truck with
intervals of hanging on in back (for dear life) as the truck moves on to the
next set of stops.
My
inability to retrain myself, to adapt to the change in the recycle rules, makes
their jobs harder; it forces them to paw through my “test paper” to see if I
passed this week’s exam. All I can say is, “I’m sorry! I’ll try to do better. And,
if that doesn’t work, I’ll plead the “old coot” memory excuse, “I forgot!”
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