March 7, 2018 Article

The Old Coot won’t let go of the wheel.

By Merlin Lessler

We (humans) moseyed along the African savanna for eons with our knuckles dragging on the ground. Finally, about 2 million years ago, we stood up and walked erect. “This is better,” we said. “We don’t bump into trees, stumble off cliffs or amble into the jaws of saber tooth tigers. Then one day, it was 3,512 BC (take my word for it; I was there), we hopped on a horse and started traveling above the fray. Some people hopped on camels and elephants and some on ostriches, but most did it on a horse.

Then, a millisecond ago on the evolutionary scale, we traded the horse for an automobile. I’m sure it was a scary transition, but we soon found it better than feeding and tending to a one-ton animal. Gas up the car and go! Today’s geniuses, that are driven to push the technology envelope, want to yank the steering wheel out of our hands; they want to put an end to our century long love affair with the automobile, end the freedom of rolling down the window or sliding back the top, and with the wind in our hair, driving for the simple pleasure of it.

These “geniuses” know we have short memories. That we’ve all but forgotten what happened when they removed the mechanical connection between the gas pedal and gasoline supply, replacing it with a rheostat, an electric current and a handful of electronic components. It caused more than a few drivers, buzzing along in Toyotas, to have the equivalent of a giant foot stomped on top of theirs, putting the pedal to the metal and sending them to an early grave.

Now, the geniuses want to take us out of the driver’s seat completely, and leave the driving to them, to their computers and software. A lot of folks are cheering them on. BUT, NOT ME! I don’t trust the geniuses; I wonder how many people really do? Those who do, who don’t want to drive, can take a cab, a bus or a plane, and leave the rest of us alone. We love our cars the way they are. And, not just old coots like me, who, even though environmentally incorrect, drive our cars when we have no place to go, just for the fun of it.

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