July 16, 2014 Article

The Old Coot drinks “old man” coffee.

By Merlin Lessler

“Old man” coffee! That’s what I order when I step to the counter at Dunkin Donuts and other places that offer a senior citizen discount. I don’t like the “senior citizen” term. It sounds contrived to me, something that social scientists came up with in a never-ending effort to classify us, to break us up into groups in order to explain our behavior. I resent the label. Call me anything, but don’t call me senior citizen. It’s a group I swore I’d never join, back when I was in my twenties and thirties and thought I’d never get old. Now that I’ve reached, heck, exceeded, the age at which the senior citizen label is assigned, I still don’t want that label. I’m an old man! Call me an old man. Or, if you want to be more accurate, call me an old coot.

I find I’m not alone in my opinion about the “senior citizen” term. A survey of Baby Boomers was aired on PBS the other day. Baby Boomers are the generation right behind mine. They don’t want to be referred to as senior citizens either. I don’t know what they would like to be called, the survey didn’t say. But, I bet they don’t want to be called anything. It’s bad enough that social scientists have labeled each generation with insulting and awkward terms: Silent (my crowd), Baby Boomer, Gen X, Millenial, and then add to the insult by labeling people “Senior Citizens” the day they turn 65. Sociologists and marketing specialists put us into groups and claim they can predict how we think, what we will buy and who we’ll vote for. It’s insulting. 

We think of ourselves as individuals. I’m comfortable with the old coot label. It fits, but it’s hard to assign a list of characteristics to it. We’re not a homogeneous group, except for the trait of being contrary. Otherwise, we’re a mixed bag. Some of us may seem almost youthful one minute, tottering and stodgy the next. We might be set in our ways on Monday and turn around and seem to be open minded and liberal on Tuesday. The key word is “seem”. Old coots are never exactly as they appear.  

So, I order old man coffee and get a discount. But, I’m ashamed of myself. For years I preached against the concept of a senior citizen discount. Why should someone get a break in price just because they are a certain age? It never made sense to me. It was one of those marketing ploys that big business came up with in the 1970’s; to make the public think they were compassionate and generous. Now, they are stuck with it. They can’t figure out how to end it without a big backlash. It didn’t cost them much when they started it. Seniors back then had more character than we do today. Those elders rarely accepted senior citizen discounts. They didn’t want charity or a handout.

But that changed over the years and now old coots like me, who go around thinking we have principles, look on it as an entitlement. I’ve been corrupted! If you see me step to the counter and order an old man coffee, wag your finger at me and say, “Shame on you.” Maybe I’ll wake up and realize what I’m doing. Maybe all of us old guys will. If we do, the price of coffee will go down for everyone else.