It’s not our fault. We try to listen. We’re
positive we hear everything our wives tell us, but we don’t. I think it’s a
right brain, left brain thing. When somebody talks to us we are all ears, for
about ten seconds. Then our brain switches into a sports mode. It drags up
images of scoring the winning basket as the clock winds down to zero. Actually,
it doesn’t drag up the image; it makes it up. There never was a moment like
that. The male brain can’t distinguish between fact and fiction.
It’s not just our wives we don’t listen to; it’s
everybody. It’s why we get in so much trouble. We’re in a conversation; the
other person talks and talks and then stops and looks at us and says, “So, do
you think it’s a good idea?” We have no idea what they are talking about, but
we never admit it. “Sure,” we respond. “That’s a great idea.” Then we discover
that we just loaned our car to our neighbor’s teenage son for the prom. “How
could you do that?” our wife asks. “It sounded like a good idea at the time,”
we lamely respond. “You had to be there.”
I’m so glad that women are getting into
leadership positions in business and politics. It was a tough road without
them. If a woman had been in charge of Ford Motor Company in the 50’s when the
design team made the pitch to introduce the Edsel, she might have listened to
the engineers who warned that it was too soon, that the bugs hadn’t been worked
out. As it was, Henry Ford the 2nd, who is a man, may I point out, was
daydreaming about the Detroit Tigers when the discussion took place. When asked
if they should move ahead and introduce the car in the 1958 model year, he
said, “Sounds like a good idea.”
It’s just the opposite with women. They hear
everything, even the stuff that you never say. If the words make it into the
little waiting room in your brain, the place you put stuff for a few seconds
before you let it go public, women hear it. They also have long-term memories.
We say stuff that gets them so mad they can’t see straight. But they don’t say
anything at the time. We hear about it two months later - “On December 2nd at two
in the afternoon you said I looked a little chunky in my new coat.” Here’s
where tact has such great value, if only we were smart enough to use it. We
have no idea what she is talking about. We don’t even know she has a new coat.
We can relate to December 2nd; the Giants were playing the Eagles that day. The
stupid among us, blurt that information out, ala, “Didn’t know about the coat,
the Giants were playing, etc.” Those of us who hope to live to a ripe old age
take a breath and fake it. “I remember saying that. It’s bothered me every
single day since then. I almost cried; I felt so bad. It wasn’t true anyhow;
you looked great. I was mad because the Giants were losing and I took it out on
you. How can I ever make it up to you?” Of course it’s all fiction. No man
would ever say those things. How could he? He never heard what she was
complaining about to begin with. Remember, men don’t listen.
