September 4, 2013 Article

The Old Coot is an at the finish.

By Merlin Lessler

Emma Sedore suggested I write an Old Coot article about people who finish your sentences. (As a public service!) I have to agree; it is irritating when someone does _______(1). Especially, when the finisher is correct 80% of the _______(2). It means the speaker is so obvious in where the sentence is going that anyone can see through it, cut to the chase and finish it  _______(3), while we like to think of ourselves as so clever and insightful, that the listener is hanging onto our every _________(4).

When my crowd (old coots) get together, we all are guilty of this sentence finishing social faux pas. We have to be! The speaker often forgets where he is going with his sentence and starts groping for the end point in a desperate effort to pull it from the cobwebs in his mind. We give him a chance, but eventually take pity and supply the ending. In this situation, finishing someone’s sentence is a kindness.

The rest of the time though, it’s just plain rude! It shows a lack of patience and tolerance for those of us on the lower end of the humanoid species, just because we struggle a little to make a succinct point. It’s showing off, when a sentence finisher does this, a lame attempt to prove they are smarter than we are. If they really were smarter, they would avoid us altogether. But, they don’t; they swoop in and finish our sentences. We are tired of it!

So, if you are a sentence finisher, you have been warned. Proceed at your own risk! Those of us whose sentences you are finishing, are not going to put up with it any ___. (If you thought you could end that sentence with “longer” you are wrong. The ending is “more.”) We’re going to change the ending to every sentence to prove you _______. (If you tried to finish the sentence with “wrong,” you are in error. The ending is “have no manners.”) You can try to finish our sentences all you want. We’ll prove you wrong every time. End of _______(5)!

Footnotes: 1 = this, 2 = time, 3 = off, 4 = word, 5 = story.  

Score your sentence finishing ability: 1 or 2 right, welcome to old coot world. - 3 right, big deal you’re only slightly better than an old coot. - 4 or more right; go to a Mensa meeting and see how you do, but leave our sentences alone!