The Old Coot is in style.
By Merlin Lessler
Some old coots (me
especially) are messier than two-year-olds sitting in a highchair eating pasta.
Often with the bowl on top of their heads with spaghetti cascading down around
their face. The spaghetti head look! Us old coots (me) often end up in a
similar state - dribbling, dropping and spilling food & drink onto
ourselves and our surroundings. Restaurants have to wash the table and mop the
floor after we leave. But we don’t just leave a mess behind, we take it with us
too.
We’re stain kings! Food
slobs! Spaghetti sauce magnets! I crave for the days of the 50’s and 60’s when
reversible clothes were in vogue. Splatter your shit! No problem, just slip into
a rest room (kind of like Superman slipping into a phone booth) and turn it
inside out. Same thing with reversable jackets and pants. Instead, we walk
around, strategically placing our arms across our chests to hide the mess on
our shirts. When we get home, we sneak into the house and hide it in the back
of the closet.
Thankfully, today’s fashion
is rife with torn and stained, jeans and shirts. The kids buy them new, and at
a pretty steep price; we pull them out of the back of our closets, for free. We
have a whole wardrobe of torn and stained attire. Probably worth a fortune on the
open market. We’re not hip on purpose; we’re fashionable because we’re “Unstained
Clothes Challenged.” A condition for which there is no known cure.
Comments? – Send to
mlessler7@gnmail.com
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