The Old Coot is on it. Right now, 4-19-23

 The Old Coot can’t get anything done.

By Merlin Lessler

 People who think that old coots have zero memories are wrong! It’s true that we aren’t as sharp as we once were, but our memories are not really that bad (except for names of people and places). We do suffer from a chronic illness that makes us appear more forgetful than we really are. It’s called “the do-it-right-now” syndrome. It’s the exact opposite of the syndrome we had when we were teenagers. I know; it’s hard to believe that an old coot like me was ever a teenager, but I was. And, just like today’s teens, I suffered from “the put-it-off-until-the last-minute” syndrome back then. Now, I do the opposite.

 I walk into the living room to get the newspaper for my wife and spot a smudge on the mirror. My “do it right now” disease sends me back to the kitchen to get a bottle of Windex and a paper towel. But on the way, a screw driver I was using earlier to fix a loose doorknob attracts my attention. I bend over to pick it up, and the trip to the kitchen for window cleaner flies right out of my head. “Where’s the paper?” my wife asks when I pass her on my way to the garage to put the screwdriver away. “Right here,” I reply, and hand her the screwdriver.

 This happens all through the day. Whenever I go to do something, the “do it right now” syndrome sends me off in another direction. I never finish anything, at least on the first try. I’m as bad as the teenagers who never start anything. Thank goodness for the generations in between; they get things done. But, you have to give us credit, teenagers and old coots alike; we have good intentions.