The Old Coot has an
internal check engine light.
By Merlin Lessler
The check engine light comes
on in my car every so often. It freaks me out. I started driving back in the
1950’s when “Idiot Lights” first appeared on the dashboard, replacing gages. Instead
of an oil pressure gauge, that showed when oil pressure was getting too low, a red
light came on. The same thing with engine temperature. Both lights signaled “DANGER!
- Pull over and shut off the car or your engine will blow up!”
So, us old guys are
programmed to react when a light on the dash comes on. It signals trouble. These
days we still have “idiot lights” in the form of a yellow engine icon. It tells
us that something isn’t working right, but won’t say what it is. Our first
reaction is to go nuts. Then, we remember it’s something minor like a
malfunction in the emission control system; we don’t need to panic unless the
light is blinking. Knowing that doesn’t help. We get perturbed whenever we see
that yellow icon. Even the warning that the air is low in a tire is an
annoyance. To avoid the aggravation, many of us cover it up with a piece of
black electrical tape. Out of sight, out of mind.
Old coot’s brains have
check engine lights that come on too, whenever a body component misfires. A chest
pain, for example, “Is it a heart attack or a sore muscle?” An ice cream brain
freeze, “Is it a brain tumor or a stroke?” We can’t cover those signals with black
electrical tape, but we do the next best thing. We use denial to put them out
of mind. These alerts pop on and off every other day. We expect the worse
unless the warning is a familiar one and we know it’s just a minor malfunction
that will go away, or one we’ll get used to. Sore back? No problem. Had that signal before,
just have to ease up for a few days. Emergency spinal surgery not required.
I had a new one the other
day; I heard a clicking sound as I walked. At first, I ignored it. But it
wouldn’t go away. “Is it an ear issue or is one of my joints acting up? Ankle?
Knee? Toe?” It haunted me all day. The mystery was solved when I did the
unthinkable, for an old coot anyhow, and took off my shoes in the middle of the
day. I discovered a nail imbedded in the sole. Mystery solved. I pulled it out,
reset the check engine light and went on with the rest of my day.
Comments? Complaints? Send
to – mlessler7@gmail.com
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