The Old Coot
goes shopping.
By Merlin
Lessler
A reader (Terry)
brought an interesting phenomenon to my attention. “If you want to know how
someone drives, watch how they push a grocery cart.” They ram into other carts,
don’t slow down for intersections and, heaven forbid if you get in their way of
getting to the last package of their favorite cookies; you just might feel
their cart ram into the back of your legs.
I did some
research on my own. This is what I observed about grocery store manners that
end up on the highway. A “wide walker”
set my pace. He moseyed along in front of me. He wasn’t wide, but his walking
style was. When he stepped with his right foot he went way to the right and
then did the same when he stepped with his left. It was like walking behind a
waddling duck. And, that's another thing, what is it with people who insist on
walking side by side? They clog up progress down the aisle more than anything.
If it isn't a
wide walker then it's a "weaver" who hinders my progress. You know
the type; they push their cart along in a coma like state. When you try to pass
on the left, they weave in front of you. If you go to the right, they beat you
to the open lane. It's why I think the carts should be equipped with a horn.
If the stores
were required to have the carts "inspected" by an authorized mechanic
every year, it would solve another of my shopping cart problems, getting one with
a bent wheel, the kind that won't go in a straight line. It constantly goes at
an erratic angle so that you have to jerk it back into the “driving” lane. I
hate it; it makes people think I'm a "weaver" - they yell and throw
things at me as I wind my way through the store. If there were horns on the
carts, they could just toot, and I'd let them pass.
If cell phone laws
against using a phone while driving applied to drivers of shopping carts it
would improve my grocery shopping experience. - The people who sail along in front of you
yakking to a friend. (Who, in my mind, put down their phone hours ago, bored by
the endless stream of chatter.) Anyhow, they sail along in front of you, loudly
yacking into their phone and then come to an abrupt stop, causing you to do the
same. In their car they text and sit motionless when the light turns green at a
traffic light. And much worse, drive right over bicycle riders and pedestrians,
and of course, and into passenger cars. Shopping cart behavior and automobile behavior
are one in the same. Check it out and see if you don’t agree.
Comments? (Be
nice) Send to mlessler7@gmail.com
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