Friday, October 22, 2021

I can't find anything - A Tioga County Courier Old Coot Article (10/20/2021

 

The Old Coot can’t find anything.

By Merlin Lessler

 I can’t find anything in my car. Where are my reading glasses? Don’t I have a tape measure here someplace? What happened to that cell phone charger? That’s what happens when I go looking for something. I finally did an inventory, starting with the glove compartment. Mine is good sized, and that’s a problem; it is so chuck full, that when I open it, half the contents spill out: car manual, stereo manual (twice as big as the car manual), maps, a CD pouch, hand sanitizer, a small ice scraper, registration & insurance cards, and believe it or not, gloves. I had no idea they were there until I did the inventory.

 But the glove box isn’t the problem. It’s that plus all the other compartments where I shove things. There is a small compartment with a door above the glove box. It contains pen, paper, glasses and earphones. Below the radio is an open cubbyhole. Not a problem since I can see the box of Tic Tacs, store cards, a paper clip and a key chain with a miniature flashlight on it.  

 There is a small storage compartment with a door to the left of the steering wheel. That’s where I found the tape measure. I also discovered two jackknives, a package of Rolaids and some toothpicks. Also, a small change purse full of loose change. It comes in handy at a drive-in window.

 

I’m not done! I haven’t mentioned the compartment in the center console. That’s where I found the cell phone charger. Also, binoculars and an emergency writing kit, in case I get an idea for an article. It contains glasses, a pen and paper. Next to the console, stuck between it and the seat, is a folded up reusable grocery bag. It’s usually still there when I get to the check out counter in the store.

 Each front door has a foot long trough that’s two inches wide. Sunglasses on the driver’s side of the car and an umbrella on the other. I won’t get into the junk stuffed above the sun visor that falls out whenever I try to use it. One last thing, the back area of the car. It contains two walking sticks, jumper cables, tie downs, a blanket, a bag chair, earmuffs and a sweatshirt. Oh yea: there is a kayak carrier on the roof; I only used it twice year.

 You’d think I was a survivalist, prepared for an environmental disaster. I decided I had to de-clutter. I took everything out and put it on a table in the garage, to sort through things and get back to basics. Probably a futile gesture. Little by little, I’ll fill it up again. Oh, by the way, as I reloaded, I discovered a small backpack under the driver’s seat. I forgot it was there. I didn’t dare look to see what was in it. I’ll deal with that during next year’s inventory. 

 Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com

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