The Old Coot knows the
answer.
By Merlin Lessler
Among the hardest three
words to say, are, “I don’t know.” We hate that we don’t know something, when
asked. So, we march ahead with an answer. Sometimes we condition it with, “I
believe….” – I’ve been told….” – “I heard….” – “The word on the street is….”
Or, we lie. Fake it! Make up an answer and hope it doesn’t come back to haunt
us.
Why is it so hard? To say
those three little words? (This is where I should say, “I don’t know.” But off
I go with an answer). We can’t say those three little words because of our
egos. We’ve just been complimented by the asker, who thought we would know the
answer. We hate to lose face and say, “I don’t know.”
Politicians don’t have
that problem. They never say they don’t know. Instead, they respond with a
delaying tactic, “That’s a great question.” That compliment to interviewers
throws them off guard. It’s called the “flatter and distract” technique. Then
off they go on a long round of blather and never answer the question.
This phobia isn’t a male
or female thing. Both sexes are equally guilty of not being able to say, “I
don’t know.” It’s even harder to say than, “I was wrong.” Which is what you are
setting yourself up for when you answer a question with fiction rather than fact.
Fortunately, saying you were wrong got easier when some clever person, probably
a politician, invented the phrase, “My bad.”
Somehow, this takes the
sting out of admitting you are wrong. We hate to be wrong, but we hate even
more, to admit it. Saying, “My bad,” solves the problem. I’d love to meet the
person who came up with it. I asked Google. I was sure it wouldn’t know and
would just throw up a bunch of web sites, which is another way of saying,
“That’s a good question.” That’s what I got. I picked the one that said it came
from the 1995 movie, “Clueless.” If that’s wrong, it’s “My bad.”
Comments? Complaints? Send
to mlessler7@gmail.com
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