Where did the food go? Old Coot Tioga County Courier article 3/24/21

 

The Old Coot is paying more, getting less!

By Merlin Lessler

 This is article #515 (2013) being repeated at the request of consumer advocate, John Stewart, as a public service advisory.

 My world is shrinking! I’ve watched it diminish over the last several decades. And it’s not just my muscle tone, agility and recollection abilities that are shrinking. It’s the things I buy as well. Especially in the grocery store. Bread, for example. I plopped a piece of baloney on a slice of bread the other day; it hung over the edge. The baloney was bigger than the bread! “Did baloney get bigger?” I wondered. When I took a close look at the bread, I got my answer; it was smaller than it used to be. Something I wouldn’t have noticed if I’d opted for a healthier lunch, like peanut butter and jelly. But, I had been in a gourmet mood; baloney was the obvious choice.

 I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. All food products are getting smaller – the cereal boxes look the same as they always did, but they’re thinner and have less cereal inside. The food processors didn’t think we would notice. Canned vegetables, too. The standard can was 16 ounces. Now, it’s 14 or 15 depending on who’s doing the canning. The six-ounce can of tuna fish went on a diet: it’s down to 5-ounces now. 

 It’s nibbling away our grocery money, this shrinking thing. Most of us haven’t noticed, at least unobservant shoppers like me. I sense it; the can or box feels different, but I don’t have a reference point to compare it to. Until the baloney hung over the edge of my bread. Then I started checking. The one item I was sure I knew the size of was a five-pound bag of sugar. I was shocked! Sugar is now sold in four-pound bags. That really got me. It messes up my weight reference point. For years I’ve judged the weight of things by comparing them to a bag of sugar. “How much does that puppy weigh?” I’d pick it up; compare it to my memory of a bag of sugar and conclude, “It feels about seven pounds.” Now I’m off by 20%. 

 It’s rampant, this downsizing of food packages. If the container isn’t smaller, then it’s modified so it holds less of the product. Saltine crackers for instance. Today’s box contains 15 % fewer crackers! (And 30% more wax paper.) They place the crackers in multiple sleeves, add more packing material and run an ad campaign that emphasizes the freshness. The same thing has happened to graham crackers. Same box, less stuff. 

 Some food processors have jumped on the “green” bandwagon. They use slogans and ads to claim their package is environmentally friendly. (Instead of just saying the container is smaller.) Milk is one of the few products they haven’t messed with. But, just down the cooler a few feet are cartons of orange juice that have. They look the same. But, if you check the label you’ll discover they’ve been downsized, from 64 ounces to 59 ounces! It’s a magic show! The magicians (food processors) distract us with pretty colors, statements of freshness and overstated “new and improved” claims. But, instead of pulling a quarter out of our ear, they’re pulling the food out of our grocery carts. It’s kind of ironic when you think about it. Food containers are getting smaller, but we’re getting bigger! 

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We are evolving! Old Coot Article - Tioga County Courier (NY) 3/17/21

 

The Old Coot sees the future.

By Merlin Lessler

 Evolution is a slow process, so slow it can’t be witnessed in a human life span. After all, it’s was “Lucy’s” fossil remains that revealed the transition from knuckle dragger to upright walking that took place some 3.2 million years ago. Walking upright was one of two major requirements essential to the development of the human species. A large brain was the other. Lucy was off to a good start, but she had a small head (and a small brain). Eventually, it got bigger and here we are, fully evolved humans, pretty much as we have been for tens of thousands of years. A change has now entered the evolutionary process, stimulating a dramatic alteration to humankind.  

 A thousand years from now, archaeologists will uncover human fossil remains from this era, and learn that the 21^st century was a critical juncture in human evolution, caused by the introduction of the smart phone. Eventually, our memories and intellectual knowledge will be completely transferred to these electronic devices, relieving our brains of considerable burden.  Small heads, and possibly a third arm (to hold the device while doing other things), are two of the evolutionary changes that archeologists will pin down to the second decade of the 21^st century, the decade when the smart phone was fully adopted by societies across the planet. In just a fraction of time, on the evolutionary scale, our species will change because of this evolutionary stimulus.

 Teenagers and young adults were early adopters of smart phones. We elders laughed at them, sitting around a table, texting back and forth, no longer carrying on face to face conversations. That behavior has now gone mainstream. Even old coots like me, are tethered to these devices. When we sit around talking, acting like we’re paying attention, we are distracted by the phone, listening for a beep.  It’s like a pistol in a gunslinger’s holster, ready to be drawn in a flash to get a message or to fire at the web in search of a fact that no one in the group could supply from their own head. Often, the entire bunch races through the Internet in an attempt to be first with the answer.

 Conversations are also laced with interruptions, as participants shove a phone in front of each other’s faces, forcing us to look at a picture or a video about it is claimed, “You have to see this! You’re gunna love it!” (Often we don’t)

 We are all guilty of this, we’re like 1^st graders coming home from school, eager to show “Mom” what we made in class today. We’ve also become a testy, impatient bunch. We want things RIGHT AWAY! We send someone a text and are irritated that they don’t immediately respond, or God forbid, don’t respond at all. It puts us in a funk. 

 So here we, on the cusp of an evolutionary explosion, destined to evolve into an electro-mechanical humanoid, who like “Lucy” walks upright and has a tiny head. You can watch it happen right before your very eyes. But I wouldn’t worry about it, not until your favorite hat, that fit a little too tight, drops down over your ears. Just don’t let the surprise make you drop your phone.

 Comments? Complaints? Send to – mlessler7@gmail.com

Old Coot can't catch a (price) break. Tioga NY Courier Article (3/10/21)

 

The old coot can’t catch a break (in price).

Article # 918, by Merlin Lessler

 This happens to me every so often. I’ll go into a store, spot a rack of shirts with a sign that says, “50% off!” I paw through it and find a bargain, then rush to the cashier’s line with the fewest people in it. That’s usually a mistake; the line will come to a halt because of a fussy customer, a yakker who talks too much and can’t find their credit card in a purse or wallet that contains a historical record of their life or the computer comes up with the wrong price creating the need to call a manager who almost always takes five minutes or more to get there. I stick it out as the “long line” I shunned quickly passes by. When it’s finally my turn, the clerk scans the shirt and says, “That will be $30. I thought I was getting it for half-off, $15. I protest, explain it came from the 50%-off rack.

 The clerk scolds me, tells me that if I had read the sign correctly, I would have known that I had to buy two items to get 50% off the second item. Never mind, I say, and hand the shirt back to the clerk and slink out the door, grumbling about false advertising.

The other sales gimmick, similar to this, is found in grocery stores, “Buy one, get one free!” I never want two of the items and notice that the base price seems higher than normal. So, I don’t buy it! Some stores, and you have to learn this the hard way, will charge you the half-price even if you don’t buy two. You can tell which stores won’t; there is a pile of discarded items next to the register and grumbling customers walking out the door.

 Trick advertising pops up all over the place. How about the car adds on TV that claim the price of that Ford F-150 Truck is now $9,300 lower. I always think that’s the price of the truck and then come to my senses and remember that these trucks cost more than several of the houses I’ve purchased. They never mention the price you’ll pay. They don’t dare. Even with the huge markdown it would be too much of a shock. These are the same outfits that lure you in with a low lease price; $229 per month for a brand new Toyota Camry. If you freeze the TV screen and read the fine print you’ll see you need to fork over a down payment of $4,500 on that 36 month lease. If you do the math, you’ll discover, in reality, it adds $125 to the monthly cost; you are simply prepaying that portion of the lease cost.  You should never prepay a lease. If you get into an accident and total the car, the dealer gets the entire insurance payment; you get nothing. That $4,500 prepayment is gone.

 Now, if you want a good buy with no strings attached, you can buy the only piece of fiction I’ve ever written, “Mystery on South Mountain,” on Amazon.com. It’s available as a Kindle E-book for $2.99. You only have to buy one to get this great deal. LOL!

 Comments, complaints! Send to mlessler7@gmail.com

Old Coot spots the "Sigh" people. Tioga County NY Courier article 03/03/2021

 

The Old Coot is a nosy people watcher.

By Merlin Lessler

 I’ve recently written about the “UM” people and the “Huffer” people. Both of which you can’t help but notice when you are in a line. The “UM” people can’t make a decision and they say, “Um,” as they go back and forth in unsure choices. The Huffers get overly impatient in line, and huff & puff, crossing and uncrossing their arms and shifting their weight from one leg to another.

 Now, I’ve discovered another branch of dysfunctional (sort of) people. The ones who sigh. A lot! A sigh is something we do unconsciously; we take in a normal breath, then draw in a second helping and exhale the double volume of air which results in a notable sigh. It’s an involuntary action generated in the brain using in excess of 200 nerve cells, according to scientists who study this stuff.  It happens when we feel sadness, anxiety, depression or despair. The sighers in line are sad; the Huffers are mad; the Um people are indecisive and disorganized.

 When you are around a sigher, you wonder what’s wrong and often ask, “Are you OK?” The typical response is, “Nothing!” If you mention that they are sighing a lot they think you’re a nut job. “I am not sighing!” they exclaim. They aren’t fibbing; they are unaware.

 I don’t mind my own business when I’m out in public, especially when I’m in a line. I snoop on what everyone else is doing. Every once in a while I’ll encounter a “perfect storm” – a Huffer in front of me, a Sigher off to my side and an “Um” person at the register. It’s like listening to and watching a symphony orchestra of sights and sounds: Huff – Sigh – Um – Um- Um – Huff – Huff – Sigh. It makes me into a “Chuckle” person, chuckling in public for no apparent reason. I wonder who’s watching me?  

 Comments? Suggestions to write about? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com