The Old Coot is a fashion
guru?
By Merlin Lessler
This is a fashion
critique. What does an old coot know about fashion? With pants belted at the
rib cage, white socks with black shoes, a Mister Rogers sweater and the like?
Not much. BUT, like the little kid in “The Emperor’s New Clothes” who pointed
out that the emperor wasn’t wearing anything, I point out that today’s “emperor”
equivalent are men in skinny pants whose legs are stuffed into a space that is
too small for the stuffing. Like the story emperor, nobody tells them the truth
either.
It started as a young person fashion, these
skinny pants, but now it has gone mainstream. A nice look, I’ll admit, on teens
and the under thirty crowd. But it slips off the fashion runway with older wearers.
TOO skinny, is the problem. Men in suits wear the pants that bag up, above and
below their kneecaps, creating a lumpy gnarled mess. Not bad for a waist up
view, but not so hot when the wearer stands up and we get to see skinny pant
legs.
It reminds me of my junior
high school days when the fashion rage was pegged pants. Pant legs tapered from
mid-thigh to shoe top. They were so tight at the bottom you could barely get them
over your foot. Some of the rich kids had zippers sewn in at the bottom so they
could slide them on.
My parents wouldn’t spring
for a tailor, which was the only way you could get pegged pants. They weren’t available
off the rack. My mother said,” NO,” when I asked her to alter mine. So, I did
it myself. But, not very well. My taper started at the knee and went straight
down to the ankle. No taper at all; a perfect pair of riding pants for a
horseman, which I was not. I tried to act cool as I strutted down the halls of
West Junior High, but it was a hard image to retain amid the giggles, chuckles
and finger pointing at my back.
Now, 60 odd years later, I
can do the chuckling at the men strutting around in pant legs all wadded up. “If
you don’t have skinny legs; don’t buy these pants”, is a warning that should be
attached to the merchandise. “Try the slim fit and see how that goes.” Enough
said! Women in leggings is next on my fashion critique. If I’m smart; I’ll
never get to it.
Comments? Complaints? Send
to – mlessler7@gmail.com
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