April 15th, 2020 Article - Old Coot is ADEQUATE

The Old Coot lives in “Adequate” land.

By Merlin Lessler

A few days into the New Year, I asked a distinguished, not quite elderly, gentleman how his holiday went. He hesitated a moment; I could see the wheels spinning in his head, and then replied, “Adequate! My holiday was adequate.” Finally! Someone with an honest answer! Older guys do this. Everyone else I’d asked, gave me a “politically correct” reply: Great! –  Nice! - Wonderful! That sort of thing, but often with a qualifier, such as – “It was nice, but it was hectic- stressful - a lot of work. Followed with a barely audible, and with a hint of guilt, “I’m so glad it’s over.”

The truth is, the magic of Christmas has lost some of its luster for most adults. Especially compared to the memories of when we believed in Santa Claus. They can’t be recaptured. Sometimes it comes close; some magic sneaks in, but it never lives up to those childhood experiences.

That,” Adequate,” response, that Joel came up with, caught me off guard, a nice surprise and quite unique. He didn’t go negative with a, “Bah Humbug,” answer, but rather, with a precise, understandable and believable, “ADEQUATE!” A holiday with electric trains, bicycles, dolls, dollhouses and Daisy air rifles under the tree is a magic time that is hard to duplicate. But, setting up “adequate” as an expectation, works well. A nice meal, time with friends and family, a sea of snacks, candy, calories and carbs. And, no guilt for that period of (unhealthy) holiday eating.

I think, “Adequate,” is the response I might have received from people who gave an enthusiastic reply, but the pressure of social norms prevented them from saying anything negative about the Christmas Holiday, no matter how slight. Adequate, is the correct adjective for many of us. And, if we admitted it, our holiday fibs would come to an end.

I especially like the word because I live in an everyday world of” Adequate.” I just never thought to use that adjective to describe my day-to-day existence. I’m going to adopt it as go-to reply. “How you are doing Old Coot?” – “Adequate,” I’ll say. It has a great social benefit. Us old guys go into detail, thinking people really want to know how we are. They don’t! They are forced to stand silent, listening as we go on and on about our ailments and the failings of modern-day society. Their eyes glaze over; they stop paying attention; they shift their focus to coming up with an escape plan. I don’t know how you’ll rate this article, but I’m not shooting for GREAT or FANTASTIC. Adequate will do just fine.

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