July 11, 2018 Article

The Old Coot overheats!

By Merlin Lessler

We’ve just survived a heat wave. The temperature has to be over 90 degrees for three days in a row to be sanctioned as a heat wave by the US Weather Service. I’m not sure we did that, but I’m not that technical, so I’m calling it a heat wave. The gloom machine started working on it a week or so ahead of time. “It’s coming. Heat! Mugginess. The sky is falling,” as Henny Penny would say. “Six more days till doomsday! Five! Four! Three! Two! TOMORROW! “Don’t say we didn’t warn you!”

Somewhere in that warning period, before Armageddon arrived, they started giving us advice: drink plenty of water – stay in the shade or air-conditioned spaces – do your outside chores or exercise routine early in the day.  Apparently, the weather people, and the news people, think we’ve never experienced hot, muggy weather before. That’s surprising, since it is summer, and this sort of thing happens here every year. Anyone over seven years old (the supposed age of reason) knows what to expect and how to handle it.

It wasn’t bad enough that the temperature got over ninety degrees, THEY (the media and forecasters) had to make it sound worse. They threw in the temperature/humidity index. “Your thermometer will show 95 today, but it will feel like 107. They do the same thing in the winter. “Think 20 degrees is cold? Well, when you factor in the wind/chill effect, it will feel like 3 degrees below zero.” THEY, work hard to make us fear the weather. Before it gets here – while it is here – and after it has passed.

It used to be so simple – weather just happened. The weather man was around, but he (and, it was always a he back then) usually got it wrong and nobody paid much attention to the forecast. Not anymore! Heck, the media is overrun with meteorologists focused on scarring the bejesus out of us. I guess they figure we will stay tuned and they can sell more ads.  And, as though that’s not bad enough, we are saddled with The Weather Channel, working 24/7 and the U.S. Weather Service who take control of our TV sets to announce an impending doom, often with alerts about conditions out of our area. You have to cover your ears to muffle the annoying loud screech they use before and after each announcement.

OK, big deal, so we had a heat wave. I wish they would make a single forecast to cover the entire year.  Summer = Hot, Winter = cold, Spring and Fall= a little of both. And, I wish they would calm down the Henny Penny Routine. The sky isn’t falling – it’s just an acorn dropping to the ground. And, thus ends my old coot weather rant, for the 13th time in 13 years. I guess I need to get over it, or seek professional help.

Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com