January 17, 2018 Article

The Old Coot can ask a good question.

By Merlin Lessler

I’m sitting here at the counter in the Harris dinner, next to the fire station in Owego I’ve been watching Sam work his magic at the grill and glancing up at the TV. A politician just finished at a press conference and that got my pen moving. He kept saying, “That’s a great question!” It’s quite common to hear this when a reporter asks a politician, a public official or a corporate executive a question that requires a clever answer (a believable lie). It’s often followed with a quick introductory lie, “I’m so glad you asked.”

That two-part response often works. The reporter is flattered; it’s like he scored 100 on a school paper with a star next to it and a handwritten note that said, “Nice job, Bobby.” A warm feeling rushes through him and he barely pays attention to the gibberish that follows. But, a good reporter comes back to earth when the talking head has lied so much his growing nose bumps into the microphone and the flame from his pants (by now on fire) threaten to engulf the podium. The reporter’s head eventually comes out of the clouds and he asks an astute follow-up question, one that gets to the core of the lie that’s just been set on the table, like a plump Butterball turkey with the “done” button sticking out.

This time the response isn’t a lie, it’s an answer to a question that wasn’t asked, taking the conversation to a safe place for the master of deception. They call this spin, because it makes your head spin. Politicians do it all the time; corporate executives and bureaucrats do it too, especially when they get backed into a corner after their organization has done a shameful thing. When the “Lie & See if it will Fly” technique and the “Change the Subject” strategies don’t work, they switch to the “Legal” defense: “I can’t answer that question; it would be a violation of the Privacy Regulations,” or, “I can’t discuss it; it’s under investigation and subject to litigation.”

Another form of this deceptive tactic, is the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) section on most web sites, expertly used by bureaucrats and corporations. These aren’t frequently asked questions. These are questions they make up, to shine a positive light on themselves. It’s exactly like the spin politicians use when they ignore a reporter’s question and go on and on about another subject entirely. The real question, that should be at the head of the “FAQ” list is, “Why can’t you provide the proper information and customer service so there is no need for this phony “FAQ” charade?” When I have a question, I always end up calling the customer service center and forced to endure the “Endless Wait & Listen to Horrible Music,” technique, designed to get me to hang up. Sometimes it works.

If you have any questions, you can contact me at mlessler7@gmail.com. No waiting.