February 24, 2016 Article

The Old Coot lowers the bar.

By Merlin Lessler

I’m ready for a girl’s bike. It’s been a long journey, from my first two-wheeler to this point. And, I better act fast or I won’t be able to find one. Girls don’t ride girl’s bikes! Not anymore. Old men ride girl’s bikes. Two years ago I discovered that I threw like a girl (sounds like a sexist statement, but I’m just reporting the facts). I was tossing a football back and forth with my granddaughter, Oriah, who was 8 years old at the time. I threw as hard as I could, but most throws were landing two feet in front of her. All her throws made it to me; some sailed over my head. I don’t play catch anymore; someone watching might say, “He throws like a girl.” My granddaughter moved on; she plays with kids who don’t throw like a girl.

Yes, a girl’s bike is looming in my future. They are so much easier to get on and off. I will no longer embarrass myself, falling off when I try to swing my leg over the bar to dismount and then rise from a tangle on the ground like a newborn colt standing for the first time. When I climb off a girl’s bike it will be as smooth as silk. Of course I’ll lie about it, “It’s my wife’s bike,” I’ll say. “Mine’s in the shop.” No different than when I tell Oriah my arm is too sore to play catch.

I hope my new bike will inspire my age mates to join me; then I won’t stand out so much. I started the long journey to a girl’s bike when I was seven and had to stand on the curb to get my leg over the bar on my first bike. Besides the bar issue, that bike was too big. Everything we got in that era was too big. “You’ll grow into it,” we were told. We didn’t reside on a pedestal, like today’s kids. We stuffed wadded up newspaper in the toes of new shoes to get them to fit. We rolled up the cuffs on a new pair of dungarees (now called jeans). We swam around in coats and shirts. And, new bikes were mounted from a curb. When I first started, my sister held my bike steady while I got on, and then rode ahead to catch me when I came to a stop.

I never understood the boy’s bike - girl’s bike thing. Why couldn’t both of them have a bar a person could easily swing their leg over? The “Google” informed me that the first “girl’s” bicycle was created in the late 1800’s, an era when women wore full-length dresses. Bicycles were a common form of transportation back then (a bike was a lot easier to take care of than a horse). The bar was lowered, so to speak, and the rear wheel was enclosed in a skirt guard so a dress wouldn’t become tangled in the spokes. It’s an idea that’s gone out of fashion. Equality has moved into the bike word. And why not? Women are allowed to wear pants, something that wasn’t done back then.  What a wild time we live in!

A “boy’s” bike, with its high bar, has a stronger frame. Girl’s bicycles aren’t recommended for rugged trails because of their weaker structure. That won’t bother me when I get mine. The only rough terrain I’ll encounter are the uneven, slate, sidewalk slabs in the village. A running start will get me over most of them. If I’m forced to stop and go around, I won’t fall getting off, because it will be a GIRL’S BIKE!