February 10, 2016 Article

The old coot gets fashion tips from the news reporters.

By Merlin Lessler

I don’t know if you’ve noticed it or not, but most of the on-scene, TV news reporters have expensive scarves draped around their necks. At least the ones reporting with a winter scene as a backdrop. It’s this copycat syndrome that gets me the most about the national media. Watch any network and you’ll see the same stories, reported the same way, by people that for the most part, belong on a movie set, not in a news room. Even the same “cute” videos are used as a sign off at the end of the broadcast. The sameness drives me nuts. It’s probably why I noticed the scarf phenomena.

It all started, this use of a costume by on-scene reporters, with Dan Rather. He’d trot off to some hick town where regular Americans live to report on a local disaster and cover up his suit with a safari jacket. It was designed to make him appear as one of the common people. Then came the jeans and tan chambray military shirts. All the networks now do it. So do the politicians when they’re on the stump, but that’s an issue for another day. 

This year, it’s scarves. But, not any scarf. Not a scarf like the one you’ll find around the scrawny neck of an old coot like me. No, these are pricey, designer scarves. Much longer than the ones that hang on my hall tree. Long enough to be tied in a politically correct knot. I grew up with scarves. We used them for warmth, draped around the back of our necks to keep the nape warm, or when it got colder, wrapped all the way around with one end thrown back over a shoulder. When the mercury dropped into the teens and the wind kicked up, we pulled them up over our faces.  Today’s scarves are more decorative than practical. Especially the news reporter version.

I’m so out of it; I had no idea how complicated scarf wearing had become. I thought you just threw it on and went out the door. But, I noticed that the scarves worn by TV news reporters were carefully arranged. That’s when I started my scarf education and discovered there are over 25 fashion correct ways to tie a scarf.

Twenty-five! Just when I thought life couldn’t get any more complicated. The first, and the one I use, is called the “Modern Loop.” Once around the neck, no knot at all. Why it’s called modern is beyond be; it should be called the Old Coot Loop, but then what do I know about fashion. There is one called the Bunny Ear. It’s a knot that would take me an hour to duplicate. I wasn’t good with scout knots either. It ends up with two bunny ears pointing down in front. The Turtle Neck is what you see most TV reporters wearing. The scarf is looped around the neck twice and fluffed up to look like a turtleneck sweater. One end has to be shorter than the other according to the scarf tying web site!

Here are some of the others: the Infinity Loop, the European Loop, the Celebrity Loop, the Waterfall, the Magic Trip and the Braid. Look close and you might spot one of these variations on the TV news. I wonder what it will be next year. Earmuffs?