November 18, 2015 Article

The Old Coot ignores the 11^th Commandment!

By Merlin Lessler

Things worked pretty well for thousands of years: civil societies were guided by moral principals, a code of right and wrong: the Ten Commandments – The Golden Rule – Hammurabi’s Code. Then the politicians added an 11^th commandment – “Thou shall not change thy mind!” Once a position is taken it can never be reversed. You won’t hear a senator say, “That’s a good point. I never looked at it from that angle; I’ll have to reconsider my position.” If a politician said that, the media would come down hard, “Senator Smith flip flops on the international trade bill!” The talking heads on the cable channels would be even harsher, “Spineless Smith caved! He broke with his party. The American people should be outraged!”

The 11^th commandment has Washington on its knees. Dysfunctional. We don’t elect individuals any more; we elect party members, who are expected to adhere to the party’s position or suffer the humiliation of a “flip-flopper” label. Republicans vs Democrats - Sunnis vs Shiites – southerners vs northerners – city folk vs fly over country folk, ours is a tribal species. We have an uncontrollable need to clump up with like people. It’s a family thing first - the clan. The next level is the neighborhood – “The west side is the best side!” kind of thing.  Out tribal allegiances are many. Some are tightly knit, others are loose, but tribes they are. And, most rigid of all, are the political parties, which unfortunately are totally dominated by, and adherent to, the 11^th commandment: Thou shall not change thy mind.

The only tribe exempt from the 11^th commandment is the Old Coot Society, of which I’m a member in good standing. In fact, last year I won the coveted Old Coot of the Year Award. Oh, we’re not going to change our minds either, but not because of the 11^th commandment. We’re governed by a totally different set of rules. 1^st and foremost, is the requirement to complain (loud and often) about how bad things are today compared to “back in the day.” 2^nd – Say what’s on thy mind with no filter (“Wow! You sure got fat!”) 3^rd – Ask for, no demand, a senior citizen discount. 4^th – Eat dinner between 3:30pm and 5:00pm. 5^th – Drive in the passing lane with thy left turn signal blinking. 6^th – Wait at a stoplight until the driver behind ye blows thy horn. 7^th – Move thy pants up, changing thy waistline so it falls just below thy rib cage.  8^th – Never tell a story without pauses to remember the name of a person or a place, even though it has no meaning to the listener. 9^th – Start, and maintain, a collection of sugar, ketchup and mustard packets stolen from fast food restaurants. And, lastly – #10 - Constantly complain about the high price of EVERYTHING. “Can you believe it? $7.00 for a hamburger. That’s outrageous!”  You notice no mention of an 11th Commandment. We change our mind at the drop of a hat. Especially if it means a lower price, a free sample, or some kind of handout. We have to or we’d violate our 3^rd commandment.

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