The Old Coot says football is out of fashion.
By Merlin Lessler
It wasn’t your typical, pencil thin, pouting, runway
stomping fashion model. This one’s figure was somewhat fuller. Even so, it was
a high profile fashion show. The model was, “Draped in a rich pewter jersey,
juxtaposed with a bright shade of “Buccaneer Red” and “Bay Orange” trim,
incorporating a reflective chrome border around oversized numerals on the
front, back and shoulders. Matching headwear featured a red battle flag with a
skull sitting over crossed swords and a football.” That last word cleared up
the mystery for me. Football, that’s what this was all about.
As I read the Associated Press article, quoting a press
release from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I was shocked. This wasn’t a fashion
trend emerging on a Paris runway or between the covers of Vogue; this was the
official team description of a redesigned football uniform that will be trotted
onto the field when the Buccaneers play their first game of the 2014 season.
Rich pewter juxtaposed with a bright shade of Buccaneer
Red? This is what professional football has evolved to? And, sent out in a
press release? So out of character as to be unbelievable, but if you think this
old coot exaggerates, then simply Google - Associated Press – Bucs unveil new
uniforms - and see for yourself.
I wonder what the fans will do. Will they cough up $100 to
$150 to coordinate their leisure wear to match the Buccaneer Red numbers on
pewter jerseys when they go to a game or plop down on the couch? Probably, they
will!
Football has come a long ways since I first watched a game
on a fuzzy, black & white, six inch TV screen. Players wore drab uniforms
back then. Shoulder pads and helmets. The helmets were nothing more than padded
leather hats. There were no facemasks. Even the face bar hadn’t made its’ way
to the playing field. Now their helmets cost more than my first car. And
uniforms are created by fashion designers that juxtapose team colors on
jerseys. I should have seen it coming, when Joe Namath donned a pair of
Beautymist pantyhose for a Hanes TV commercial back in the 1970’s. Still, it
did take 40 years to get us to “rich pewter jerseys, juxtaposed with blah,
blah, blah. I can say no more. The Buccaneer’s press release speaks for itself.
And us old coots sit here shaking our heads and wondering just how out of touch
we really are.
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