May 7, 2014 Article

The Old Coot leans to the left

By Merlin Lessler

I found myself listing to the left the other day. I noticed it as I walked across the street (jaywalking, of course) and saw my reflection in the window at Tioga Trails Cafe. I was on a tilt, about 15 degrees, like a ship in high seas, taking on water and about to capsize. This was yet another old coot affliction to come my way. My first episode of listing left.

It all started with a sore knee. Like all old knees, abused by running and weekend warrior sports activities at a time in life when old age seems a far off rumor, they flare up every once in a while. No big deal. Treat it kindly for a few days and the irritation goes away. (A few weeks if you don’t behave.) So, the tender knee started me on a list to the left. Then I slept wrong on my shoulder. It joined my knee in protest. My framework adjusted and increased the list.

My back didn’t like being pulled out of kilter so it joined the chorus, increasing the angle of my lean to 15 degrees. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. “Ok, I’m a little crooked. So what?” Like that old poem about meeting a crooked man, who walked a crooked mile that we recited back when memorizing poems was still a part of the curriculum in public schools. But there is a, “So what!” (When you’re an old coot.), Listing to the left can set you up for a fall. If you step off a curb with your left foot your weight over-shifts in that direction, and if you aren’t ready for it, down you go. An old coot lying in the gutter.

One fall should be enough to get you acclimated to your left leaning tendency, but us old coots reside in a state of denial and usually forget the affliction that is affecting us at the moment. It takes several falls and a score of close calls before we adjust. Eventually, the knee gets better, the shoulder returns too normal and the sore back reluctantly goes along. Presto! We’re standing straight again. As straight as an old coot can anyhow. We gloat a little and brag to our self, “I won another one!” We know something new will come our way; it’s just a matter of time. But that’s part of the fun, the adventure of living in an old coot body. Might as well enjoy it.