The Old Coot swaps a pencil for a pen. (Published 01/04/2026)

 The Old Coot is an upside down writer.

By Merlin Lessler

 I’ve switched from a pen to a pencil. I decided it when I was reading a Nero Wolfe detective book by Rex Stout titled, “And Be a Villain.” I own all seventy- two of Stout’s, Nero Wolfe tales. I find his “who-done-it” stories relaxing and I’m almost always surprised when Wolfe reveals who the guilty person is, usually in his office, surrounded by all the characters in the story and two policemen. This was the third time over the last 50 years that I’d read this book. Since I own it, I violate it: I dog-ear the page corners instead of using a book mark, write notes here and there, and in this reading, where there were 13 suspects, I wrote each of their names and a brief bio on the inside back cover. Whenever a new character showed up, I flipped to the back and added them to the list. I must have had a better memory the last two times I read the book since nothing was written on the page.

I read it in a recliner; I had the book over my head and when I made an entry with my pen it stopped working after I jotted down a few letters. I had to sit up and lean down to get it to work again. Up and down, up and down I went, like a duck bobbing on a pond. That’s when I decided to switch to a pencil.

I found one in our junk drawer, a “Dixon-Ticonderoga, #2 - HB, pencil. It writes upside down. I once had an “Astronaut” pen that could do that, but it was pricey and I didn’t feel like shelling out $30 for a replacement. But, a simple pencil can match the upside down ability, plus you can transport it behind your ear, chew on it while you think, erase your mistakes and best of all, for an old coot like me, it’s cheap! I bought an 18 pack for less than five dollars. I’ll never ever use them all up; I’ve spread them around in the house, in the car, in the garage and in a pouch on my bicycle.

The Dixon-Ticonderoga pencil was patented in 1839. The company was in business for well over a century, guided by the principle of “Best of its kind.” Dixon (Joseph) was the founder of the company; Ticonderoga was the area in New York where the graphite was mined. The brand name is still around, but the pencils are now made in China. They’ve been slimmed down and the graphite isn’t as good, but they do write upside down. I just wish the company that makes them hadn’t changed the guiding principle to “As Chintzy As We Can Make it.”